Arranged Marriages - A Few Thoughts

Arranged marriages are considered passé in today’s world. But arranged marriages are not as terrible as modern men and women make them out to be. And, they make them sound terrible because they refuse to examine or even consider how they could play an important role.

‘Sanskars’ may be loosely translated as ‘impressions’. Impressions are important because they leave a mark, an imprint upon one’s mind. While these are mere impressions or imprints they play an important role in life. Every family, every society has its own sanskars and they comprise, among other things, a certain ethos or morality that help one navigate the waters of life.

Sanskars become the basis of one’s character. And, character decides one destiny because destiny is determined by one’s actions in certain situations.

There was a time not too long ago when marriages in India were contracted by elders in a family. These came to be known and despised as ‘arranged marriages’. Indian society chose this as the preferred mode of establishing marital relationships. They would usually choose a march from a family with a similar background. That made it easier for the couple to adjust to each other and the new environment with its new set of people and relatives.

Another aspect of sanskars is the bundle of memory and energy they equip one with. Considering sanskars exist in everyone, good or bad, they also affect how people act and react in a variety of situations. Life is nothing if not uncertain and when things are uncertain, one needs stability in one’s relationships and relatives. Similar sanskars in the couple and their families helped create that stability that would help people, esp during the challenging times.

Lately, with the rapid growth of ‘love marriages’ another thing that has grown rapidly, indeed more rapidly, is divorces. Divorce rates have jumped exponentially in the last 30 odd years, in all parts of the world, including India.

A couple give each other the best part of their lives...their youth, only to find themselves struggling alone in later years when companionship becomes a greater need. That’s is sad, both for the couple and for society at large.

Marriages were said to have been made in Heaven. It seems they’re now made in hell! Well, as we sow so shall we reap!

Shall we try and help change things around again? Let’s take a few tentative steps back to a future where marriages will one again be made in Heaven.

- rajyogi

https://rajyogi.wixsite.com/lifecoach